Utopia Talk - Politics - How To Have Fun At WalMart

Welcome to the Utopia Forums! Register a new account
The current time is Sat Jun 28 00:04:50 2025

Utopia Talk / Politics / How To Have Fun At WalMart

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 08:50:16

Piss.Myself.Laughing
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the Staff passed out.

TJ
Member Wed Jul 03 09:51:10
Did he do this also?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZolOXrJNQFg

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 10:03:07

There is nothing funny about that.

Perhaps you should read the OP so you will know where I am going with this thread.

TJ
Member Wed Jul 03 10:05:30
Perhaps I already read the OP. chuckle

I never comment on anything I haven't read.

Dakyron
Member Wed Jul 03 10:55:51
Good to see Rod getting back to his roots by posting spammy chain letters at least 15 years old.

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 11:01:00

I never saw it before so it is brand new as far as I'm concerned and it is quite funny.

So if you have seen it before or if you lack a sense of humor then you may as well move on.

Fred Felcher
Member Wed Jul 03 12:03:46
What does this have to do with politics?

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 12:26:30

Because it is funny it has nothing to do with politics.

What's the matter, have you guys forgotten how to enjoy a good joke?

TJ
Member Wed Jul 03 12:32:33
Are you sure those are jokes rather than pranks?

Dakyron
Member Wed Jul 03 12:35:11
I remember laughing at this list in high school...

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 12:35:47

No.

What difference does it make?

Never mind, no response necessary.

Fred Felcher
Member Wed Jul 03 12:45:07
This should be labelled OT as we all agreed to when this forum was founded. Refusing to do so makes you no better than a liberal.

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 12:46:42

Yeah, I'm the only one that doesn't label a thread OT.

Get over it.

Fred Felcher
Member Wed Jul 03 12:48:57
And more than 1 jew was killed in the holocaust. So you're saying you approve of the holocaust and we should "get over it".

Gotcha.

Hot Rod
Revved Up Wed Jul 03 12:50:37

Now you sound like Paramount.

Dakyron
Member Wed Jul 03 12:51:12
Fred insulted by someone not taking the holicaust seriously?

Fred Felcher
Member Wed Jul 03 12:58:17
No, just pointing out hypocrisy.

TJ
Member Wed Jul 03 13:07:12
"What difference does it make?"

Clearly you watched the youtube. That could be a hint, but since you suggest I not answer I won't.

TJ
Member Wed Jul 03 13:55:18
On another level.

What would Ayn Rand say about thievery?

show deleted posts

Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 08:50:16 Piss.Myself.Laughing After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras": 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.
TJ Member	Wed Jul 03 09:51:10 Did he do this also? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZolOXrJNQFg
Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 10:03:07 There is nothing funny about that. Perhaps you should read the OP so you will know where I am going with this thread.
TJ Member	Wed Jul 03 10:05:30 Perhaps I already read the OP. chuckle I never comment on anything I haven't read.
Dakyron Member	Wed Jul 03 10:55:51 Good to see Rod getting back to his roots by posting spammy chain letters at least 15 years old.
Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 11:01:00 I never saw it before so it is brand new as far as I'm concerned and it is quite funny. So if you have seen it before or if you lack a sense of humor then you may as well move on.
Fred Felcher Member	Wed Jul 03 12:03:46 What does this have to do with politics?
Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 12:26:30 Because it is funny it has nothing to do with politics. What's the matter, have you guys forgotten how to enjoy a good joke?
TJ Member	Wed Jul 03 12:32:33 Are you sure those are jokes rather than pranks?
Dakyron Member	Wed Jul 03 12:35:11 I remember laughing at this list in high school...
Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 12:35:47 No. What difference does it make? Never mind, no response necessary.
Fred Felcher Member	Wed Jul 03 12:45:07 This should be labelled OT as we all agreed to when this forum was founded. Refusing to do so makes you no better than a liberal.
Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 12:46:42 Yeah, I'm the only one that doesn't label a thread OT. Get over it.
Fred Felcher Member	Wed Jul 03 12:48:57 And more than 1 jew was killed in the holocaust. So you're saying you approve of the holocaust and we should "get over it". Gotcha.
Hot Rod Revved Up	Wed Jul 03 12:50:37 Now you sound like Paramount.
Dakyron Member	Wed Jul 03 12:51:12 Fred insulted by someone not taking the holicaust seriously?
Fred Felcher Member	Wed Jul 03 12:58:17 No, just pointing out hypocrisy.
TJ Member	Wed Jul 03 13:07:12 "What difference does it make?" Clearly you watched the youtube. That could be a hint, but since you suggest I not answer I won't.
TJ Member	Wed Jul 03 13:55:18 On another level. What would Ayn Rand say about thievery?
	show deleted posts

Your Name:
Your Password:
Your Message: